The Breastfeeding Bond

I wanted to start this post with the history of how I came to be a breastfeeding mommy. When I was a little girl some of my fondest memories were of my mother breastfeeding my siblings. Thankfully, I was the oldest girl in my family so watching my younger siblings being breastfed seemed completely normal and natural to me. I realize now what a blessing it was for me to grow up with a breastfeeding role model.

Naturally when I found out I was pregnant I wanted to breastfeed my baby. My whole pregnancy I was the woman who read all the books. In fact, my friend got pregnant a few months after I did and she refused to read any books because she said she would get all her info from me! Haha

This hunger for information led me to Ina May Gaskin’s books. I fell in love with her naturalistic ways and I read her Guide to Breastfeeding. I also took a short breastfeeding class but that was not nearly as informational as this book. I highly recommend it to all those who are or plan to breastfeed. I firmly believe that it was the techniques for latching and information in this book that saved my nipples and solidified my relationship with breastfeeding.

As soon as Sophia was born they placed her on my chest and she latched on right away. I still remember how surreal the experience was. All through my pregnancy I’d had dreams of breastfeeding but the real thing was so much better than all those dreams. At first the feeding went very well. All the nursing staff commented on how naturally it came to me. But then my milk began to come in the day I was discharged. My breasts became two large hard boulders overnight! I looked like Dolly Parton with the worst boob job in history. I remember looking in the mirror topless and saying to my sister ‘God I hope these don’t stay like this!’

The engorgement from my milk coming in made them hot and hard. Every time I went to nurse Sophia the milk would squirt out like a fire hydrant and she would get milk all over her. I was leaking literally 24/7 and I thought it would never end. Because they were so full and hard it made latching so difficult. My nipples just seemed so large for her tiny mouth. In those early days the only way she would open wide enough was when she was crying. And thanks to the latching difficulty my nipples were getting so much abuse. I knew breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt and to re-latch if it hurt after the first 20 seconds. I was re-latching several times every session and I’m sure that is what helped save my nipples in the long run. Also expressing a little by hand before feeding (just to make the boob pliable) made latching a lot easier since I could compress my areola better than when they were hard and full of milk. Thankfully as the books promised the engorgement only lasted a max of 2-3 days and latching gradually got easier.

Using vitamin e oil and Lansinoh’s Soothies breast pads also helped to save my nipples. I also had plastic nipple cups to put in my bra to keep the fabric off my sensitive nipples. I rubbed breast milk on my nipples after every feed and let them air dry for at least a few minutes. The breast milk trick is probably the best one of all of these. There are antibacterial properties in breast milk which aid the healing process and also lower your chances of getting an infection like thrush or mastitis. You should never wash your nipples with soap. Washing with water when you normally shower is all that is necessary. Washing your nipples after every feed is not recommended either as it can damage your nipples and wash away the natural substances excreted by the glands on the nipple which keep them clean and moist (this is why soap is especially bad).

I’d say breastfeeding for me significantly improved after 2 weeks and then became completely second nature around 2 months. I would just hear her hunger cries and automatically start undoing my nursing bra. I always enjoyed it but after a short while I really fell in love with breastfeeding Sophia. I attribute our deep bond to breastfeeding.

The only downside (if you can consider this a downside) is that Sophia will not take a bottle. It is one of the reasons I quit my office job and got a work from home job. She is now 6 months old and still refuses them. I absolutely bought every bottle and nipple on the market. No matter what the fancy marketing suggested none of them were remotely like my breast and Sophia screamed at all of them (as if we were trying to give her poison). I tried being in the room… being out of the room, out of the house, etc… Nothing worked. I came to my breaking point and my mom suggested I take away the breast during the day cold turkey and it took 3 days to get her to take a bottle. Let me just say it was the worst experience ever. But I got lazy with the bottle again and she had a relapse. I refuse to go through another 3 day battle of the wills. I am attempting to get her used to a sippy cup for the occasional times I need to be away from her. So far she either lets the water dribble in and out of her mouth or she chews on the top. I hope she catches on soon but we will see!

Ultimately breastfeeding has given me a very happy and healthy baby and a deep appreciation and trust in my body. :)